Tag: Marriage

3 Cords Are Better Than Discord |Marriage Series

There are aspects of a healthy Christian marriage that stand the test of time. First off, I don’t pretend to know everything about a successful and healthy marriage. My wife and I have gone through our ups and downs like everyone else, but here is what has worked for us:

Ecclesiastes 4:11&12

The most essential aspect of our lasting marriage is that we both committed our lives to Christ. Without this, I am not sure where we would be.
We know most Christian marriages start with a three stranded, Christ centered strong, tight rope.

However, little by little, each spouse allows the cares of this world to seep in and loosen the strong commitment both made to God originally.

Usually, when I have witnessed discord in marriages, it’s because one of the spouses has walked away from Christ, and if they don’t renew their commitment to God and their spouse, it becomes detrimental to the marriage and family structure.
When I find myself starting to get distracted with life’s juggling, I quickly check my commitment to the LORD, so I don’t see myself drifting away…

1 Chronicles 16:10-12

If commitment to God is the most important of all aspects of a healthy marriage, prayer comes in second. There is no way for a healthy marriage to thrive without prayer. I have seen couples take nutrition classes, go to the gym, and keep up with all the great books out there. 

Couples will prioritize taking care of their bodies, but lack commitment to healthy prayer life. How can God speak to either one, when they have not found time to pray together.
I am not speaking about just going through the motions of prayer where couples go through the mechanics of prayer and yet miss the mark on sitting still long enough to hear from the LORD. I have done this from time to time with my wife, and we both have missed the great blessing of answered prayer. Imagine going through the petitions where you know the Spirit has moved both of you to seek God humbly.

You have done the easy part, the hard part for us all, is to sit still, and then shut up long enough to hear God’s still small voice. Where His guidance would have been gladly taken, we miss the blessing because we were too tired or bored to wait for an answer.

How many marriages would still be together had both spouses sought time long enough to hear from God, who was gladly willing to speak to both of them, only to be cut off by the lack of time that both spouses should have made for Him…

The third aspect of a healthy marriage is knowing that being together is for a lifetime. There is no turning back to mommy and daddy because life gets tough or you found someone else whom you think listens better than your spouse!

What we tell couples who are struggling in their marriage and when they ask us how we do it is this—
Divorce is not an option. God doesn’t make mistakes.

The mistakes are made by two imperfect people coming into a relationship, thinking that marriage will solve all of life’s problems once they marry.
We explain that marriage is a commitment and a marriage contract between them and God.

When God brings two people together, it is because these two people have been mature enough to:
A. Seek Guidance from God before making any decisions for succesful courting. Yes, I said courting not dating. Dating is a fantasy made up by Hollywood.
B. Both people have fasted away from each other long enough to know that what they both feel was real, and not lustful. How do we know which is which Oscar? Um, go to step A.
C. Both people have received an answer from God saying that they are to be together.

If there are any doubts, ask people in your lives whom you trust to pray and fast with you and start the process over.
Is it this easy? Of course not. Is it worth it? Yes, it is.
I encourage you to try these and notice the blessings in waiting on the LORD for an answer….

Psalm 25:8-10

Humbling ourselves is the fourth aspect of a healthy marriage. You see, without someone humbling themselves when times get tough, the marriage will be in constant friction. Many a time my wife has been the better person in a little spat that we may be having, yet, she backs off and allows for me to think that I have the right-away. Minutes or sometimes hours may pass before I realize how idiotic it was to have my way. In the rare moments where my wife is adamant about something, I allow her that right-away. It works both ways.

How has this giving the right-away been for us? 

Since we both are prayed up and read up, it makes reconciling easy.

James 1:22-24

Being Read up means that we are always seeking instruction from the Bible. This is the fourth aspect but not the least in order. Opening up our Bible is like food to the stomach. The more we read, the better our marriage. 

There is one caveat to this. It would be best if you practiced what you read.

It isn’t in the reading that we get the morsels of Heavenly food. It is in the seeking, finding, and refining our lives that the blessings come in. The more we open our Bibles to seek, we discover and then refine our lives.

You just can’t seek and find and then close up the Bible and stop there. You have to put your money where your mouth is so to speak. Practice what you preach or in most cases—Practice what you read from the Bible.

All these aspects are indispensable, but I can’t think of any other that can be done without this last one—Love. Without love, we can’t be called disciples of Jesus the Savior. Without love, we are but just loud noises which are speaking about the love of God and not having it. Love conquers all aspects of a healthy marriage. Love is a healthy marriage. 

You can’t say that you love God and detest your spouse; it can’t be done. I have seen too many people say they have fallen out of love with their spouse, usually it’s the men.

When I hear a man say this, I smile as they are telling me. The more they speak about the new person whom they met, who loves them more and listens to them more, the more I smile. I know, it’s rude but I can’t stand a guy who is disrespectful to his wife by making her the villain. 

When a man does this, I lose total respect for him. I would rather have him say. “I love being an adulterer more than I love my wife.” But of course they will not say this.

So instead of getting angry or upset, I just smile. Once, the guy in front of me got so nervous that he resold himself on loving his wife and not pursuing an extramarital relationship he was thinking about, without me saying a word. I just smiled and he knew what that meant…

Now getting back to love…it covers and conquers all. When you have doubts about your spouse, commit yourself to God, pray for them, make a long term choice to be with them, humble yourself to not always be right and be read up so that you can have the Love of Christ in your heart for them eternally.

Go and love one another!

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‘Til Wedding Day Do Us Part! |Marriage Series

Eph 4_1-6.png

Isncript.com

—Imagine being so enthralled in the action that you forget the commitment?

—We have many young people committing to a marriage & not ready for it.

I remember when I was younger, a few of my friends were getting married. Their future wives were so hypnotized by the whole ‘getting married process’.

—Now before I go on, I want to make sure that I don’t come across as anti-ceremony; this is by far the opposite of what I am.

—Marriage is to be celebrated. It is to be shared and witnessed by friends and family and made a priority before the LORD.

 

Ceremony idol.png

BUT.…yes there is a ‘but’…

—But, what I have noticed even in some young Christian couples, I will say this again, some have turned the thrill of the action of getting married, to the all-encompassing reason why they are getting married. They have subconsciously turn their Wedding Day into an idol.

When young engaged couples have asked, I tell young couples getting married this:

  1. Please be careful not to get caught up making the Wedding Day planning the main thing and forget about the life-long commitment of marriage.
  2. Many churches have great marriage classes and counseling but it is not enough.
  3. Brides plan their wedding day in more detail than finding out about how the other person is doing spiritually, mentally and financially.
  4. Again, the latter should not play a huge part in committing to the marriage but it should be looked over from both sides.

—Parents, please do not forget this most important part:

  1. You have done a great job praying, studying for your kids’ school and Devotion time.
  2. You have taken them to soccer or baseball or swimming through their time with you.
  3. You then hear that your son or daughter is engaged, and you’re happy for them.
  4. But this is just the beginning.
  5. As parents, you are responsible, not the church, for the spiritual well-being of your kid.
  6. Now also, your future son or daughter-in-law.
  7. This is where you jump in and make sure both of them have a firm foothold on The Rock. Because the foundation in faith is the most important part of starting a life together.

—It is not how much money the wedding is going to cost or how many family and friends you’re going to be able to invite.

—The real thing everyone in the family needs to be thinking of is:

— Have we done enough to have these two engaged people stand firmly in their faith so they do not get divorced in the future?

—Dads and moms, you are the most important person in the wedding. So goes your leadership in this, so goes the rest of the wedding.

—Your son or daughter will be enamored with the process and date of ceremony that you’ll need to be their compass.

—You’ll need to bring them back to reality. Specially if it’s a daughter. Trust me, I know!

—This pre-wedding day process is for you to remind them of all the things you have taught them about God and about marriage.

—Let them know that the Ceremony Day is just that, a day in their lives that some will remember vividly, but a flash in time for most invited guests.

AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL:

—Let them know that they need to go and speak to as many people whom they admire, from your Christian circles. Those who:

  1. Have been married for a short time.
  2. Those who have been married for a long time.
  3. Those who are divorced.
  4. Those who are in ministry.
  5. Specifically those who are pastors.
  6. Ask them this:

            a. How is your marriage doing?

            b. What would you do differently for your marriage and the wedding day?

            c. Any advice for us?

—If they are willing to answer all the questions, keep them as mentors. Most of them will automatically tell your kids how a strong faith in God & constant prayers helped them through the many obstacles of marriage and family…

More on this on next post….

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God’s Pebbles on the Road |My Story

Isa 40_11.png
Isaiah 40:11 Berean Study Bible

A young man was so eager to leave his parents that he started on a journey with just the bare necessities on his backpack.

He had all the essentials to survive since his parents had taught him how to survive well enough for him to endure the long road ahead of him. This young man started his journey and soon found a partner along the path he was traveling in. Both travelers were going in the same direction and found that they enjoyed each other’s company, so they decided to hike together.

Along the way, they encountered rough patches, and in the dark hours of the night, they would unexpectedly stumble over small rocks and pebbles on the road. They would have to stop and check their shoes and feet often. Sometimes one would have to be helped out in carrying their loaded backpacks or with other nuisances along the way. Yet, this couple kept traveling.

They met a very loving and wise man along the way who was walking with his flock of sheep. The man seemed to know everything about life and the dangers of being out here without the proper equipment.

He told them that he was going their way and would light their steps at night with his lamp as long and as far as they allowed him to travel with them. The young travelers loved the stories the wise man told. He was a shepherd and would wander near and far with his flocks. He knew all the roads and also the ones less traveled.
The shepherd told them stories of his flock and of the many times he would fend off wild animals and thieves who came at night to hurt his sheep. His lamp and staff were always by his side. The more they traveled with the Shepherd, the more they stopped noticing the rough patches on the road. One night the young man felt a horrible pain in his foot. He had not been watching his steps and hurt his ankle so bad that he told his fellow travelers that he would have to stop. The young man was about to quit his journey and tell his partner and the wise man to continue without him.

As soon as he said this, he felt the strong arms of the shepherd carrying him. He also saw his partner as she picked up all the baggage he had been collecting along their journey. They carried him and his equipment a long distance until he was able to heal.

The young man was forever grateful to both his friends as he was able to continue his travels with them. When his partner needed help, the young man was there to help her.
The couple didn’t realize that the wise man was always there for them and never seemed too tired of helping them. Even with the sheep he had to take care of, he never complained. Instead, he patiently walked with them to their destination.
The wise shepherd promised they would like their new home and sure enough, the place was incredible. Enough pastures for their own little flock they had picked up along the way. The land had a running river with the best water the couple had ever tasted. Their little flock would finally be safe. They decided to stop walking and settle in this perfect piece of land. They were even more joyful to find out that the shepherd owned all of this and was giving it to the couple and their little sheep. The shepherd would always be nearby in case they needed him.

They told him that they would regularly place an extra setting on their table for him to come and dine with them. He smiled and said to them that he would always have time to eat and talk with them. The young couple was finally ready to live their life together.

This journey I am in, has been such a wonderful blessing to me. I was able to do what I have been called to do, and that is to tell stories about God’s love, grace, and mercy. I started with short skits at church and went on to write plays while serving full-time.

I am a storyteller in a world which needs the Greatest Story to be told in a way that opens people’s hearts to its saving grace.

I am reminiscing about the promise I made to God for His incredible and loving gesture of allowing me to live after being diagnosed with kidney cancer. I am living in extra innings so I can continue on life’s journey until I finish what I have to for Him.
The doctors told me I was one of those people lucky enough to have survived this type of cancer because there are no symptoms or signs of the sickness until it is too late.

I told them like I let everyone who is willing to lend an ear that I am not lucky. Luck had nothing to do with! It was the miracle of knowing Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. God tells us that Christ bore my sins, He took my sickness upon Himself and healed me.

After being diagnosed with the hated ‘C’ word, my journey took a different turn. My world was turned upside down, and everything I thought I needed to do was changed in an instant.

Yet, for those that have struggled with some type of illness or loss, I can tell you that God is faithful. He is a God of refreshing. God never promises us a safe and pain-free life but gives us enough pebbles on the road to step on, so that we develop into what He has called us to be on our personal journey.

May you be like that young man who started walking on his journey with only one thing on his mind. To touch as many lives as possible, pointing them to the Shepherd that always walks along with us with His lamp to light the way…

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HAPPY FATHER’S DAY |Father’s Day 2018

Here’s to the men who have stepped up to lead their families Spiritually! To all those that are still leading their kids and grandkids! 

There are some that are playing the dad role in your grandchildren’s lives. I commend you. You know who you are.

Here’s to my son who’s taking care of his son and passing on the torch of Christ! 

Here’s to my dad, who brings me much joy to debate things about scripture! 

Happy and Blessed Father’s Day!

So here’s to the Dad’s that are or will be sticking to their godly role as their leader in our households.png

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Husband Essentials | Men of God Series

…24 The LORD bless you, and keep you; 25 The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; 26 The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace.’…
Numbers chapter 6 verses 24-26 NASB

There are a few essential things that men must do as husbands and dads. The most important thing is to pray for his family.

If a man can’t pray over his wife and children before they go to bed like the above prayer, he has already lost the battle for the next day.
You see, as men, there are things that we must do. The Lord makes this very clear. We are to love our wives and as an extension, our children. As husbands, we are to love them enough to die for them.
One of the most critical and essential things that we must do before any physical or emotional priority is to pray for our wives and our kids.  You see, the enemy has been working overtime these last few decades.

It seems that the family is under attack at an alarming speed. Satan and his minions have systematically dismantled the family structure, and the effects will be long-term. These effects are some of the most severe society has seen in history.

If you don’t believe me, look at civilizations and empires where the family was divided in such a way as our modern Western culture. They did not survive and neither will we if we don’t get back to Biblical essentials, or basics.
The first essential is Prayer. We pray when we commit to Christ. We pray when even before knowing our Lord and Savior. It is a human trait that is ingrained in our spirit even when our faith is not there or is very weak. We must pray for our wives and children for:
~ For Blessings, as in above verse in Numbers 6:24-26
~ For Protection This means that we will pray for our family and have them protected by the most powerful way we know, The Lord’s protection.

https://kcdn.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/psalm-91.jpgPsalm 91 as a whole but specifically verse 15 tells us that we can call upon God and He will answer us and will be with us through our troubles and from the terrors of the night or through what we would call dark times. But the entire Psalm is of God protecting us like a great Eagle protects its young.
~For Strength– We must pray for our wives and kids to be strong in the Lord. That they not tremble or be dismayed by anything that this life sends their way. Why? Because the Lord is with them. There is nothing the enemy can do to them.
~ For knowing the will of God and His desire for their lives.
We have been called according to His purpose, and that in itself is comforting. Because once we know He has our best interests, we can move forward from whatever trench we are stuck in. We may be weak, and we may fail, but He will always come to our rescue.

The last thing is the most important for all of us, especially the men, So goes the father, so goes the family. A weak father makes a weak and divided family. There is nothing greater for a man to give his family than eternal life.

All this is useless if we don’t know who God is. So I invite you to get to know Him as I know Him. Take the first steps to making your family secure their eternal lives. Throw the first lifesaver over into the dark and perilous waters….and grab the first one yourself. Then go and save your family….

COMMITMENT TO GOD:

Steps to having Peace with God

How to Know God

Eagle Picture from: https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/psalm-91-commentary-bible-study-and-summary/

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