“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel”
The first letter from the Apostle Paul to Timothy chapter 5 verse 8 KJV
The world needs more dads, not fathers. You wonder what the difference is? The difference is as big as the Atlantic Ocean compared to the Pacific Ocean.
A “Father” is one who by nature, engenders children. It could also mean a person who started a movement. Or a person whom we regard as valuable or indispensable in the beginning of a country or faith.
When I hear someone address their parents as “father” and “mother”, I tend to think there may be a strained relationship within the family nucleus.
Dad is a very unique word. To me, it means relationship, closeness, intimate. A dad is one who has earned the trust of his children, whether by blood or by relation. I have seen many stepdads, and please don’t get me started on that word stepdad or mom…
Like I was saying, many for lack of a better definition, stepparents, have taken the role of parenting seriously. So seriously that they have eclipsed the DNA parent, whether the father or mother.
It’s time for us to change the word stepdad and stepmom. This is coming from a man who has been married to his only wife for thirty plus years.
So I don’t have an ulterior motive to go on a crusade for the sake of changing something that affects me.
You see, the word infidel in the verse above is translated from the Greek language . It means to be an unbeliever or heathen with no sense of moral values since infidels don’t believe in a higher power.
In Spanish, the word we use when someone is dirty and smelly is “apestoso” which is literally stinking. But it’s amazing that the Spanish took the Greek word and made it something which everyone could use in their daily lives.
We Christians know that this word means someone who doesn’t believe or an unbeliever.So when Paul was talking about people specifically deadbeat fathers, he was equating them to the most horrible thing a person could possibly be during that time period in history. An unbeliever who did not know right from wrong. A person so lost in darkness, that very name would in those times, be used as a curse word.
All this to say, if you are a father and have not done an excellent job in taking care of your own kids, there is still a chance for redemption with your children. I don’t care if they have not seen you since the Oakland Raiders won a championship.
The most important thing that you can do is to stop being a dead weight in your children’s lives. Start by saying you’re sorry, those two little words are so potent. Children are the best to forgive. They hold no grudges. They love unconditionally. Just go and do it.
The second thing you could do is spend quality time with them. Not quantity time It is a huge misconception that a lot of time spent with your children is a good thing. So is staring at the moon and hoping to see E.T. fly by in a bike. It will not give you anything but time lost.
Spend time getting to know your children. Really listen to them. Don’t just nod your head, actually hear what they are saying to you. They will let you know how they are doing once, they know you genuinely care about them and their personal lives.
The third thing is to take care of them financially. I took care of my kids. I had jobs I hated sometimes. I worked a lot of those days late. But I knew that once I finished, I would spend time with them. Eat dinner with them.
Spend quality time on the weekends with them. And, no, I did not allow for others to pay for my children. And I don’t want to pay for your kids either. That’s your job, come on, be a man! Take care of the children which the Lord has given you. Don’t be a deadbeat, and don’t allow for your ex to do all the heavy lifting herself.
Because when all is said and done, those kids will grow up to remember everything that you did for them. Whether you did things right or wrong. Don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed to ask for forgiveness. That is the worst place to try to mend relationships.
Come on, it’s never too late to go and fix things with your kids. Don’t be a stinker (Greek-Apistos, ahpehstoz= unbeliever or Spanishword-Apestoso, ah pestohzo= smelly), go take care of business. You can earn your stripes from father to daddy….and that last word is what I will always cherish until the day I make my journey home to be with my Lord….