I recently had the pleasure of having fellowship with a few men that have taken the sole responsibility for their kids. It isn’t because they want it this way. They never thought they would be the single parent taking care of everything in the home.
Yet, when speaking to them, their roles as providers, caregivers and leaders are evident.
One thing I have noticed from the church as a whole, that when there is divorce, we subconsciously side with the wife. It doesn’t matter why we always seem to think that divorce automatically falls into the hands of the guilty father. I want you to let or allow the above statement to sink in. The husband-father will always be blamed if the marriage fails.
— We know the statistical effects of an absent father, how most kids with a single mom in the home are twice as much likely to be living below the poverty line.
— We also know the devastation of emotions children with absent fathers can pose throughout the life of the child.
Society is too quick to give those statistics but is very cautious in doing the same thing to the women who decide to leave their husbands and kids behind to sow their oats as single female party animals.
This weekend my eyes were opened even wider, I believe that it was not a coincidence that I got to fellowship with those incredible men.
These single dads are proof that the church needs to really crack down on those who take, Till death do us part*, lightly. This easy divorce in the church has to stop.
I have seen where the church leadership sides with one person and allows them to get divorced over the smallest of issues while retaining them in ministry or bringing them back to serve where they were before without anyone holding both spouses accountable for their actions. There are exceptions, Adultery and also spouse abuse. I come from a family who yelled out their problems, I know what is verbal abuse compared to physical abuse. And in a lot of instances where a spouse tells the pastors that they are being verbally abused, are cases where either the wife or the husband are not willing to compromise or submit. You noticed I put both man and woman because the word of God tells us to submit to one another**before the wives are to submit to their husbands.
I applaud those men who are taking care of business as single dads. I caution those fathers that have shrugged this responsibility altogether, yes, I will say it, here it comes….
Shame on you. Shame on you because you have given the responsibility to another person and to the government. The responsibility that God has told you to take care from Genesis chapter 3 and throughout the Bible. Paul calls those men who won’t care for their families worse than infidels. The Greek word for infidel is Apestos(***Strong’s G571). Funny that this almost sound like the Spanish word Apestoso(Stinky or wreaking of bad odor-my translation).
All this to say, Fathers, don’t allow yourselves to think that you can have babies everywhere and then shrug your responsibilities by never being around. It does not work that way. Be real men and love, cherish and support your wives and kids…It is the original way God intended for men to be like. Not what the TV programs or popular songs are telling us to be…
* Matthew 19:5-6
** Ephesians 5:21-22
*** 1 Timothy 5:8