—Imagine being so enthralled in the action that you forget the commitment?
—We have many young people committing to a marriage & not ready for it.
I remember when I was younger, a few of my friends were getting married. Their future wives were so hypnotized by the whole ‘getting married process’.
—Now before I go on, I want to make sure that I don’t come across as anti-ceremony; this is by far the opposite of what I am.
—Marriage is to be celebrated. It is to be shared and witnessed by friends and family and made a priority before the LORD.
BUT.…yes there is a ‘but’…
—But, what I have noticed even in some young Christian couples, I will say this again, some have turned the thrill of the action of getting married, to the all-encompassing reason why they are getting married. They have subconsciously turn their Wedding Day into an idol.
When young engaged couples have asked, I tell young couples getting married this:
- Please be careful not to get caught up making the Wedding Day planning the main thing and forget about the life-long commitment of marriage.
- Many churches have great marriage classes and counseling but it is not enough.
- Brides plan their wedding day in more detail than finding out about how the other person is doing spiritually, mentally and financially.
- Again, the latter should not play a huge part in committing to the marriage but it should be looked over from both sides.
—Parents, please do not forget this most important part:
- You have done a great job praying, studying for your kids’ school and Devotion time.
- You have taken them to soccer or baseball or swimming through their time with you.
- You then hear that your son or daughter is engaged, and you’re happy for them.
- But this is just the beginning.
- As parents, you are responsible, not the church, for the spiritual well-being of your kid.
- Now also, your future son or daughter-in-law.
- This is where you jump in and make sure both of them have a firm foothold on The Rock. Because the foundation in faith is the most important part of starting a life together.
—It is not how much money the wedding is going to cost or how many family and friends you’re going to be able to invite.
—The real thing everyone in the family needs to be thinking of is:
— Have we done enough to have these two engaged people stand firmly in their faith so they do not get divorced in the future?
—Dads and moms, you are the most important person in the wedding. So goes your leadership in this, so goes the rest of the wedding.
—Your son or daughter will be enamored with the process and date of ceremony that you’ll need to be their compass.
—You’ll need to bring them back to reality. Specially if it’s a daughter. Trust me, I know!
—This pre-wedding day process is for you to remind them of all the things you have taught them about God and about marriage.
—Let them know that the Ceremony Day is just that, a day in their lives that some will remember vividly, but a flash in time for most invited guests.
AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL:
—Let them know that they need to go and speak to as many people whom they admire, from your Christian circles. Those who:
- Have been married for a short time.
- Those who have been married for a long time.
- Those who are divorced.
- Those who are in ministry.
- Specifically those who are pastors.
- Ask them this:
a. How is your marriage doing?
b. What would you do differently for your marriage and the wedding day?
c. Any advice for us?
—If they are willing to answer all the questions, keep them as mentors. Most of them will automatically tell your kids how a strong faith in God & constant prayers helped them through the many obstacles of marriage and family…
More on this on next post….